Life in the Rear View Mirror

After several blogs seemingly written by Eeyore, I’m coming out on the other side of this injury. Today I’ll run 10 minutes on the treadmill and have just 2 pt sessions over 2 weeks remaining. For all of my whining, I now seem to have euphoric recall or something – it doesn’t seem like I’ve been in PT that long. Ok, maybe not… I’m 16 weeks from surgery, nearly 17. I was supposed to be running anywhere between 8 and 10 weeks out. Many would be quick to point out I was injured for one heck of a long time – and it takes time to heal. Time takes time…

On the cusp of being cut loose from PT and out there on my own again, the greatest fear is re-injury. I’m taking some steps to make sure that doesn’t happen – or at least that my chances are less likely. But there are no guarantees.
On the up side, like I said to someone recently after running 4 minutes outside – I feel like a kid that gets to stay out past when the street lights come on. Or, more to my roots… when you can see the fireflies. I’m looking forward to 2011 already, picking out races I’d like to do, thinking about longer term goals. I know this is still a long process of recovery but I finally feel like I’m past the point of “this injury sucks and I’ll never run again.”

So, why is it that so many lessons are learned by looking in the rear-view mirror? I know months from now, when I’m doing speed work and cycling for hours on end I’ll be saying “I wish I had a few free nights to go hang out with friends” or “how did my house get so messy? Oh yeah, I’m like a tornado sweeping through the place again”… running from place to place, workout to event and so on.

Injury changes an athlete, I believe. Yeah, I know – it’s all about attitude. I know that, believe me. And while in it, I know I really tried to be positive, I tried to find other ways to work out, other things to occupy myself – and I’d say I did an ok job. I volunteered; I got asked to do some things and said yes. I did hang out with some friends. Yet, I know I isolated. I spent more time at home at night, mostly due to the pain of surgery then it became comfortable. My weight went up and down – my body composition has changed (and not for the better).

All this is to say I do have more choices. I have a choice as to how to continue coming out of this. I have looked in the rear-view mirror and I’ve identified some places I don’t want to visit again and the turns in the road I don’t need to take. So my lessons and I will move forward and see what this journey has to offer next.

The Rage of Achilles

It's been just over 14 weeks since my surgery and as one would expect, it's been an up and down process.

The official name for the surgery was "Haglunds Removal" - Haglunds being the bump on my ankle that ought not to be there. The process, in my own words, is Dr. Curl opened the ankle on the medial side then moved the Achilles tendon out of the way to get access to the bone. She took what amounts to a Saws-All and took off the bone that was rubbing against my tendon. :) She stitched me up. I feel sure any surgeon will assure me it's far more complicated than that - but that's what it sounded like to me anyway... When I described this to a nurse-friend of mine she blurted out "Oh God, that's going to hurt!" When she realized I looked rather concerned she began to assure me... but that didn't help much.

I will give Harbor Hospital in Baltimore major props - they are an outstanding facility. My friend Emily and I got there really, really early and signed in. They put the bracelet on me and scanned me in. (??) They gave Em a decoder... and told her to look at the screen. When my number came up and there was a colored bar associated with it, look on the decoder to see where I was... indeed... an LPS... :) She was sending text messages to interested parties as to my whereabouts in the process.

The surgery went well as did recovery. They loaded me up with drugs several times in both stages of recovery so poor Em was dealing with one drugged up kid-o by the end of the day. I went home in a space boot and on crutches.

Over the next few days I had a few friends scheduled to stay with me to make sure I was ok - and I was. I was off crutches in about 24 hours. I had to increase ice as I wanted to get off pain meds too. I was back at work in a week. I was in the boot for 2 weeks. The first pic here is about a week after surgery when I was brave enough to take the pic... swelling was down a lot, so was bruising and you can see I still have my stitches in.

I saw the PA at 2 weeks, got my stitches out and was busted out of the boot. :) I also got to start PT with probably the best guy in the business - Ian West from Physiotherapy Associates in Laurel. Since then Ian's had me learn how to walk all over again - but I no longer pronate all over hell and half of Georgia. I have progresses from just cycling to walking on the treadmill at 15 degrees of incline then running (for a total of 10 min).

Outside of PT I am cycling again and up to about a half hour. I am on the elliptical as well and around a half hour there as well. The second pic is when I was in San Diego - after the stitches came out... much better. :)

With all of this, people might be inclined to think all has come off without a hitch... not so fast friends... this process hasn't been smooth. Let's remember, at the beginning the doc said, "we don't like to see people run anywhere before 8 to 10 weeks." I didn't run until around 12. I still have pain... particularly in the morning or after I sit for extended periods. Oddly, dress shoes are an issue. I have a pair of loafers I am going to burn... they hurt like hell. I am trying to treat them like I do other activities - start slow, wear them for an hour then switch to comfy shoes and increase from there. It's going well - but I'll never wear the hard leather loafers again. Ok, well, never is a long time, and I do wear suits...

What's next? More PT. I am going to be in PT for at least 4 more weeks - until I can run for 10 minutes on the treadmill. I am going to assume I need to be hopping as well (only because that's what the little check sheet says...).

I am planning on racing with a team next year... so I want to get into decent shape before Spring. I'm looking into getting a coach - primarily because I am a crazy person (as someone pointed out to me). I want to do this right and I don't really trust myself. I will do the coach thing for at least a year and see how it goes - if it's working I'll stay with it. But that's pretty far down the line, that coaching thing. Four to eight weeks still seems so far away when I am working day by day to walk correctly, get single leg strength back and rest - really heal.

I take full responsibility for this - I did it to myself. I ran injured and at the time it was totally worth it and I was willing to pay the price. What I didn't know at the time was the total cost of ownership. I didn't understand that at each decision point I was getting deeper and deeper into the injury and making the comeback harder and harder.

Achilles was the mightiest of Greeks who fought in the Trojan war... he was relentless and apparently had quite a temper. I can fully understand why this tendon was named after this guy. I've learned my lesson - I won't pick this fight again.