Be Your Own Superhero

Sometimes you have to be your own hero. Because sometimes, the people you can't live without can live without you.

- Michael Jordan

A Change In Perspective

Absent. That's what I've been. Absent. And for good reason.

 

I've had a sinus infection that just won't let up. I was sick over Christmas... then I had a series of colds that just kept coming back like an annoying ex-girlfriend. Come to find out nothing in my sinus (the plural sense) is draining. I have never been one to be able to read a CT - but as soon as they put it up I could clearly see something was wrong.

 

I am on a the second round of antibiotics and steroids. And let me tell you... my body is not taking a liking to steroids. I am in no danger of doping - let me tell ya. I've had massive stomach issues, pain radiating up my abs, up my back, nausea. The area is warm and painful to the touch.

 

Is it helping? Well... I'm not in the excruciating pain I was in with the sinus issues. However I can still tell they aren't draining properly. I was so excited the day I left the ENT's office I threw caution to the wind and scheduled the follow up for 4 weeks instead of 3... then called last week and begged to move the appointment to the recommended 3 weeks.

 

This sure puts things in perspective though... I really don't care about my ankle right now. All I really want to do is get healthy. I want this issue to go away - well - I want it resolved.

 

And I guess that's some of what I am learning about these days - perspective. It takes me a little while, but if I am patient it comes. Sometimes I struggle, sometimes I fight - but if I am willing - I will always get perspective.

My Next Move

I came across this several weeks ago and it's still resonating with me. It's a keen reminder of my powerlessness. While I think, strategize, look at every angle and try to see every move and counter-move, in reality I grapple with the illusion of control.

 

The struggle continues until I surrender at last to the present moment - and only there do I find peace.

 

 

"Tripping Over Joy"

What is the difference
Between your Existence
And that of a Saint?

The Saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God
And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move
That the Saint is now continually
Tripping over joy
And Bursting out in Laughter
And saying, "I Surrender!"

Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think
You have a thousand serious moves.

-Hafiz-