Hoping for Hope

Have I mentioned I've been dealing with an Achilles injury for a year now? I went to an orthopedic surgeon in December, went to PT, etc. That didn't really do anything. I went to another doc and got heel lifts and a nice drawing of the anatomy of the lower leg... but that's about it.

So far I've tried PT which consisted of ankle exercises and that didn't help. A friend sent me a boat load of info about eccentric calf exercises and I started doing those - and that has seemed to help. I have stopped cycling, haven't run since December. It probably goes without saying, but I haven't been on an elliptical or stair climber in months. All this with a little improvement.

When I swim and kick a lot, I hurt that night or the next day. I can do yoga pretty successfully without noticing too many issues the following day - and I feel fantastic immediately afterward.

I do notice I have an issue with the calf - it never healed after the half marathon and I am concerned the calf exercises aren't helping it.

What do I want out of tomorrow's appointment? A little hope. Some solid direction. A plan. Tell me what to do. Tell me what I can do - what I can't do. Tell me what to do so I can heal. That's what I want to know. If that means I stay off everything for 3 months - that's what it means. It would suck - but I am ready to do it.

I am hopeful... :) I have to be.

SnOMG 2010 - Baby it's cold outside...

It's day five here in the midst of SnOMG 2010. The first round was this weekend... 30 inches... now I have something like 10... 12... of fresh snow on top of that.

Mostly when I get out it's to walk the dog and shovel. One of the greatest things about this blizzard has been camaraderie with my neighbors.

Sunday night the Bobcats came around at 8 pm... I am not much of a football fan, so I was outside helping shovel my neighbors cars out. Earlier we had all noted they Bobcats were clearing a pass through the parking lots and heading on. We learned from this and after each pass, we shoveled any snow pushed to the edge, out of their reach, etc to the middle of the lane. No one knows what the drivers thought of this - but it was great for is as we had a clean lot (relatively speaking) by the time they left. The great part was being shoulder-to-shoulder with my neighbors helping each other out. It didn't matter whose car we were behind - or if that person had even stepped foot outside all day - we were just working together.

The other neat phenomena I have noticed is everyone is walking everywhere. One might argue it's completely dangerous given the conditions (big hunk of metal gliding toward you... no brakes... and no place for you to go...) but in general, a sense of community emerges. Numerous times I would ask if the grocery store was open or people would ask me if I knew when the plows were coming... all partners in a common situation. Some have better attitudes than others. :)

A woman that lives a few doors down from me relayed a comment that a 3rd woman made - she was going crazy and didn't want to be in her house anymore. The first woman said to me, "Really? Because I enjoy my own company." I feel the same. Yes, at times I get a little "cave crazy" as my dad calls it. But mostly, I have enjoyed this. Just hanging out with my pets, watching the snow and working.

I was working until after 8 pm last night and I think I am going to finish the report I'm working on (that I have been working on all day long, mind you) and rent a movie tonight. I bought sweet potatoes at the store last night... do some core work, my calf exercises... a movie and a good dinner. Sounds like a perfect night. :)

56 BPM

Snowmageddon 2010

In a first, my company allowed everyone to work at home because of the huge snowstorm. So far at 9:31 there's about 5 or so inches on the ground. I have yet to set foot in a grocery store but the rumor is there isn't a vegetable or piece of fruit in miles.

I walked Bailey around 7 and the field near my place was amazing. Obviously it's typically dark at that hour but it was so bright with the snow - just like daylight. All the light from the surrounding area was lighting up the entire field. It was great. She loves running around in the snow - and I do mean running around... in circles. She's a herder - so that's what she's bred for.

I've had Bailey about a year and walking her in the snow has become one of my favorite things. I get up hideously early during the week and it's so peaceful in the morning after a fresh snowfall - just the two of us. It's so beautiful - the snow covering the branches of the trees and the streetlights casting a yellow glow on everything.

One thing I am not so grateful for right now is the cold... my heat pump hasn't been pulling it's share of the load for a while now. I sit here on the couch fully clothed, under a blanket with a space heater running and my feet are cold as ice, my nose is cold and my hands are chilly... yeah... I'm cold. I called the home warranty company last night but haven't been able to get them out here... and it will be a while before I do.

53 BPM

What's this caper, love?

Chicken Run - best movie ever, and that is one of the greatest lines. It's when the hens are trying to learn to fly. I guess that's how I feel these days... like I'm trying to learn how to fly.

Things are rather frustrating on all fronts these days and I've been injured for a while now. I've been able to ignore the Achilles tendinitis for months and months (about 11 of them to be exact). I stopped running in December and having run a marathon in November. I went to a doc, pt... another doc... now I am going to get an MRI and go back to the first doc.

From my experience when an athlete can't use their main outlet for stress, things get interesting. All sorts of coping mechanisms and old behaviors come to the surface. And that's not really a good thing. That's why I run. That's why I bike...

But let me also address the title of the blog... BPM. Yep - it's an acronym of sorts (Be Present, Be Mindful). Since I have been involved in a mindfulness practice for a while, it seemed like a good title. :) But also, as an athlete I wear a heart rate monitor a lot so I watch my beats per minute and it's a barometer of sorts. Too high, I'm working really hard.. too low and I'm not working hard enough... As best I can, I'll end the blog with my bpm... both being present and mindful of where I am in the world, how I feel in my own skin what I want and what I need... and...

58 BPM