Never Again

November, 1995 - Somewhere in the woods between Traverse City and Kalkaska, MI: "Never again." That's what I said to myself as some kid passed me on the Iceman Cometh Challenge. I had just started walking my bike up the hill, no *mountain*, and I heard the voice of a child say "On your left". She might have even thrown in a "ma'am" as a sign of respect.

And I said, "Never again."

I wasn't speaking to an internal spark, or the stubborn will of a 25 year-old woman with fire and determination. Nope. It was a statement of surrender. I'd hang up the racing kit and not swing a leg over the mountain bike for many a year. Each time I tried, some voice in the back of my head said "Really, you're going to try this again? But you can't do this. You tried already. Remember. You suck. Some kid astride a Huffy will drop you in a heartbeat." I'd concede to the voice one more time and not try - or act like I tried and fail one more time.

November, 2010, Maryland: I'm training to race next year. There's every likelihood I might get my a$$ handed to me by some kid that can't drive yet (I know, I see you out there you juniors... don't think I'm not watching you...). Yep. I'm almost 40. I haven't raced in *years*. But what is different is I have the drive and determination I never had as a 25 year old. I have the ability to stick to a training plan, listen to direction. I've got endurance. I want it. I may not win, but I'll define my own meaning of success. Even if it's passing the kids in middle school.

And some day I'll go back and do Iceman again. It's an epic race I took for granted. If you've never heard of it - take the time to read this article. The author truly did the race justice:
http://tinyurl.com/2evkqrb